Bringing out our inner children, for better or for worse

A friend’s son was killed last month in Washington, D.C.

Reading his obituary, navigating the list of his accomplishments, awards and successes, the line that resonated most with me was: “He was a rambunctious toddler, known to run down the street in just a diaper.” It made me smile. I chuckled as I pictured a spirited, independent bundle of life, tearing down the road with mortified adults trundling after him. Read more…

What did you love to do as a child? What would you dare to do today, whatever your age, if your inner child were let loose?

Black Oregon

“When times are tough for everyone in Oregon, it is exponentially so for black folks.” This according to Marcus Munday, President of the Urban league of Portland. The Sunday Oregonian newspaper’s July 26^th , 2009, headlline screamed: “State of black Oregon: precarious.” The column continued “Unemployment and other miseries troubling the state are multiplied for African Americans and went on to list the litany of ills and misfortunes that continuously befall the black populations in Oregon.

For example, sixty percent of black children in Oregon live in households with income below 200 percent of the federal poverty level. This compared to thirty-three percent of white children in Oregon. The percentage of Oregon students meeting the state’s 10^th-grade reading benchmark in 2006-2007, was only thirty-eight for blacks as opposed to sixty-eight percent for whites. Also, the Oregon incarceration rate per 100,000 of the black and white populations is thirty-four percent for black compared to sixty-eight percent for whites.

We are constantly bombarded with negative stories in the media of the failings and shortcomings of the black population of Oregon (and America at large.) On Friday, July 24, 2009, the Metro section headline was “Schools confront racial gap.” Occasionally, of course we do hear success stories, but these tales are oftentimes, tempered by the “exception to the rule” insinuation. There is a latent, and insidious, belief within the general population, of the inferiority of black people. I concede that it would be hard not to believe with negativity channeled, unrelentingly, when it’s black people propaganda, whether current, or historical.

What if there is an ulterior motive with this negative press? Extreme? Paranoid? Perhaps, that is your call, but consider this: They say the winners; the conquerors; the dominant ones, get to write history. I understand that. What if that history contained more truths about the losers; the conquered?

What if it was general knowledge that during the formation of Oregon, blacks were not allowed to be here? They were not allowed to own property here. It was the Law. In 1844, Oregon residents passed laws banning slavery and excluding African Americans. An act passed by the Oregon territorial legislature in 1849, provided that negroes that “it shall not be lawful for any negroe or mulattoe to come into or reside within the limits of this territory.” This was precipitated by a fear among the settlers that  the Indians and free negroes would become allies against them. “Whereas, situated as the people of Oregon are, in the midst of an Indian population, it would be highly dangerous to allow free negroes and mulattoes to reside in the territory or to intermix with the Indians, instilling into their minds feelings of hostility against the white race.”

In 1859 Oregon became a state. Its original constitution included an article banning African Americans from residence, employment, owning property or voting. Some might say, that was then, this is now, but could that not have created instability in the foundation upon which a person might ultimately build their “home?

Wealth in America is through home ownership (the acquiring of property) and education. Sixty-eight percent of white Oregonians own their own homes. Only thirty-four percent of black Oregonians own their own homes. Twenty-eight percent of all Oregonians hold bachelor’s degrees, only nineteen percent of blacks hold bachelors degrees.

What if the true story was told to all, of how blacks, after World War II, were denied access to the GI Bill and Federal Housing Authority loans, while whites used this privilege to gain, and maintain, their head start to the American dream in all areas?

Predominantly black schools are constantly failing. The disparities in test scores between African American and white students is ever increasing. We read and hear about it all the time in the news media.

Comparing data on Lincoln High, Portlands most white school, and Jefferson High, Portland’s predominantly black high school, these disparaties are glaringly apparent. Statistics from the Portland Public Schools document, “Source 2008-2009, School Profiles and Enrollment Data,” state that Lincoln’s Talented and Gift students number 26.9%, while Jefferson’s numbers 7.4%. Special Education at Jefferson is 21.4%, and Lincoln’s is only 4%. Tenth Grade students meeting or exceeding State standards in reading (2007-2008) are 16.8% at Jefferson against 85.2% at Lincoln. Average graduation rates and drop-out rates for 2007-2008 at Jefferson and Lincoln are 68.7%, 7.52%, and 94.63% and 1.35% respectively.

What if the history we are taught, told, in no uncertain terms, that the “colored” schools, and resources therein, in the former “separate but equal” public education system, were intentionally inferior?
In 1867 in Oregon, though the Black population totaled 128, Portland assigned black and mulatto children to segregated schools.

In the landmark case, “Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka,” the key phrase in the ruling delivered by Chief Justice Earl Warren illuminates:

“Segregation of white and colored children in public schools has a detrimental effect upon the colored children. The impact is greater when it has the sanction of the law, for the policy of separating the races is usually interpreted as denoting the inferiority of the Negro group. A sense of inferiority affects the motivation of a child to learn. Segregation with the sanction of law, therefore, has a tendency to [retard] the educational and mental development of Negro children and to deprive them of some of the benefits they would receive in a racially integrated school system. … We conclude that, in the field of public education, the doctrine of “separate but equal” has no place. Separate educational facilities are inherently unequal.”

I highlight the sentence “A sense of inferiority affects the motivation of a child to learn.” What if this knowledge was weapon? Would it not make sense that this “sense of inferiority” could be fueled by the bussing of the colored children to intentionally superior white schools, and the ostracizing melees that resulted? Why didn’t the Government, instead of spending all that money on buses and security, simply improve the tools and resources within the inferior colored public schools? Maybe this is a simplistic question. Maybe everyone’s lives needed to be affected for change to truly be effected. As my father used to say, “If you cannot hear, you must feel.”

Could it be that yesterday, and today, that “sense of inferiority” is the self-loading magic bullet; ammunition that, like the EverReady bunny, keeps going and going and going, and which fills the barrels of the guns that are the various institutions in our society, not least of all the media?

What if it were mandated that everyone know the story of the Code Noir Laws, the Jim Crow Laws, and all the other nameless “Laws” enacted and hiding out within the auspices of “Diversity,” “Multicultural,” and “Tolerance,” programs?

What if, instead of the same old slave stories, the story was told of how the Africans that were brought here, and from whom many black Oregonians (and black Americans) are descended, were Queens, Kings, Princesses and Priests, nobles, regal, revered and innately powerful people? A shaking loose of the inflicted “sense of inferiority” and the gifted “sense of superiority?”

What if the story that the first slaves held in the United States were not black, but white, (and let us not forget the enslavement of the Native American populations) was told. These first slaves were Europeans, mostly British, who died like flies on the slave-ships across, 1,100 out of 1,500 perishing on one voyage and 350 out of 400. Could that suggest at least a superiority of the constitution of the black people?

What if, as an alternative to the stories of the disproportionate incarceration of those criminal blacks, the tale of how there were no prisons in the villages from whence the noble African’s came, the Africans having no need for same? Could that imply that the “statistically proven” criminality of the black population is taint, as opposed to trait?

The state of Black Oregon might still be precarious, but public perceptions might be changed? And what if public perception changes, might that lead to real, physical, spiritual, emotional change? Could it lead to an end to system dependency, claiming your “place” as opposed to learning one’s “place?”

I don’t know, but might it be something to consider?

Love sometimes means letting go

I love to watch my sons play soccer. It’s exhilarating observing their finesse on the field as they charge around like wild mustang in focused abandon. Their skillful control of their feet and the ball conjures images of graceful gazelles darting through the African savannah.

On a recent Saturday morning, I was watching my son Moses’ Westside Metro team, called “Revolution,” play. It was a sensational game of fast, intelligent soccer, the boys passing and juggling the ball, dancing, almost, in harmony. Then, Moses went down, hard, and so did my heart – dropped right out of me, taking my breath with it.  Read more…

It’s scary, but true! I think that growth, maturity and liberty is achieved when we can recognize when it is time to, and then, let go.

Neighbor’s exclaimation reveals the heirlooms that bind us to our past

Aaaarrghhhh!!!

That was the sound of delighted recognition, involuntarily escaping the throat of my neighbor’s cousin, upon spying a strainer in a cupboard.

It was Independence Day. Invited to dinner at a neighbor’s house, we ladies were in the kitchen and the boys were outside practicing legalized pyromania, under the supervision of a responsible adult, of course.  Read more…

Are there family heirlooms in your life that make you squeal?

Home is…

A raccoon once moved herself and her three cubs into my house. She marched right in the backdoor and straight upstairs to my sons’ bedroom.

Thankfully, mama raccoon – spooked by a surprised, but euphoric, Moses and Malik, who hadn’t yet cultivated their poker faces and were salivating audibly in bug-eyed glee – apparently forgot she had scythes for fingernails and fled, dragging her dazed babies behind her. Read more.

Where is “home” for you?

A Litany for Freedom

Since returning to Portland, Oregon, from Jamaica, having organized, produced, directed, and performed in Eve Ensler’s, The Vagina Monologues, in its first-ever staging in Mandeville, Jamaica (serendipitiously, in Manchester, the parish of my parents,) I have been feeling caged-in, afraid, lonely, lost even, but mostly silenced, muffled and restricted.

This morning I happened upon this Audre Lorde poem and it spoke to me, as clear as a church bell strikes the hour, resonant, loud and clanging, and dropped at my feet a key, my key, the key that only I can use to open the final door to my freedom…

A Litany for Survival,
by Audre Lord

For those of us who live at the shoreline

standing upon the constant edges of decision

Crucial and alone

for those of us who cannot indulge

the passing dreams of choice

who love in doorways coming and going

in the hours between dawns

looking inward and outward

at once before and after

seeking a now that can breed

futures

like bread in our children’s mouths

so their dreams will not reflect

the death of ours;

For those of us
who were imprinted with fear
like a faint line in the center of our foreheads
learning to be afraid with our mother’s milk
for by this weapon
this illusion of some safety to be found
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us
For all of us
this instant and this triumph
We were never meant to survive

And when the sun rises we are afraid
it might not remain

when the sun sets we are afraid

it might not rise in the morning

when our stomachs are full we are afraid

of indigestion

when our stomachs are empty we are afraid

we may never eat again

when we are loved we are afraid

love will vanish

when we are alone we are afraid

love will never return

and when we speak we are afraid

our words will not be heard

nor welcomed

but when we are silent

we are still afraid

So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive.

The Story of Multiculturalism

In response to a hate incident (one week prior to the schools “famous” Multicultural Celebration) at my son’s middle school, I created the following presentation (and wrote “A Letter From A Mother,”) and displayed it at the school’s multicultural fair. I was actually nervous about bringing it in, but knew I needed to – even at risk of being thrown out. I know people are afraid of talking about race – if they only knew it isn’t real – but I believe we human beings absolutely have to talk about it. We have to be brave enough to go there; to learn what it is (or should I say, isn’t) and the harm that its spawn, racism, has inflicted on all humanity.

You will be happy to know I wasn’t run off the premises. In fact, I had some wonderfully in-depth conversations with parents, staff and administrators. However, it was interesting, and I will confess, not surprising, to see people enter the library all smiles, obviously attracted to the display, read a little, visibly recoil, and almost run away.

I really do understand the trepidation, but it is simply fear and the best way to overcome fear – to heal – is to face it. You might ask, “How does one face the fear of “race” and racism, it’s too big, it’s too deep, it’s too dangerous?” Well, I believe the only way is with the truth. I also believe it is my responsibility, to myself, to my sons, and to humanity, to do what little I can to help heal our world. So, here is a simple gift from me to you – a little (hopefully) healing truth.
 

What is multiculturalism?

Multiculturalism is Public policy for managing cultural diversity in a multi-ethnic society, officially stressing mutual respect and tolerance for cultural differences within a country’s borders. 

Multiculturalism was born from the Civil Rights Movement, which was born out of the Freedom Movement. At its root, it was created to counter institutional injustice, inequality and the Institutional Racism within the institutions that form the foundation of society – Education, Media, Finance, Justice, Religion and Marriage.

It was developed in an attempt to repair the damage wreaked by the products of institutionalized racism, i.e. Slavery, Jim Crow, and Apartheid, which resulted in the impedance to advance for specific groups of people, (people of color,) and privilege for the dominant culture (white people,) by setting guidelines and establishing procedures for the respect of, and tolerance for, people of different cultures and colors. 
 

The Language of Multiculturalism

What is Race?

 A social construct that artificially divides people into distinct groups based on characteristics such as physical appearance (particularly color), ancestral heritage, cultural affiliation, cultural history, ethnic classification, and the social, economic, and political needs of a society at a given period of time.

The classification of Race was created for reasons of hierarchy, control and power. According to the National Association of Anthropology, there is absolutely no scientific evidence supporting the social construct of “race.” There are far greater differences between a man and a woman, than there are between the so called, “Races.” Also, there are greater differences within a group than there are between groups.
 

What is Racism?

A system of beliefs, held consciously and unconsciously, alleging the inferiority of people of color (a supposedly biologically different group) to those of members of the Dominant Culture, or, white people. 

Racism focuses on the perceived “natural” differences between groups. It is grounded in the assumption that the differences associated with, or even determine, behavior, culture, intellect or social achievement.
 

What is Institutional Racism?

Institutional Racism is “Prejudice + Privilege + Power”

Institutional Racism is an imbalance of institutional power that systematically oppresses people of color and benefits white people.
 

What is Prejudice?

 Generalized attitudes about a whole group of people; the belief that a person whom we believe (because of skin color, language, or culture) belongs to a particular group will have certain characteristics. 

Enthnocentrism, which judges others on the basis of one’s own group standards; and racism which is rooted in the notion of the biological inferiority of other groups, are all related to prejudice and often entwined with it.
 

What is Privilege?

A right that is granted to some, but not all people – even if it is perceived or stated that all people have access to it. In terms of institutional oppression it is a right based solely on a persons membership in a particular social group.

What is Institutional Power?

The power that institutions such as the media, the educational system, the government, social services, criminal justice, business, financial, health care, religion, the military, have in our society.
 

What is a Right?

 A resource or state of being that everyone has access to regardless of social group membership. For example, Human Rights.
 

What is Discrimination?

Acts taken against a person based on prejudice. Unequal treatment based on prejudice.
 

What is Harassment?

Inappropriate unwanted behavior which disturbs someone, including verbal insults and touching someone without permission. Harassment is often motivated by, or a way of acting out, prejudice, and it is a form of discrimination.
 

What is Institutional Oppression?

Systemic discrimination. It is a pattern or system of inequality, which gives power and privileges to members of one group of people at the expense of another. Oppression continues because of institutional power, widespread prejudice, repeated discrimination and built-in privilege – unless it is protested and against and changed.

 
Oppression = prejudice + institutional power + privilege
 

What is Internalized Oppression?

The process by which people who are the targets of oppression begin to believe the prejudices used against them. As a result of believing negative messages about us, we may think badly of ourselves and/or other members of the group being targeted along with us. Often the behavior linked with internalized oppression is encouraged and enforced by the privileged group to frighten individual resisters, to divide an oppressed group against itself, and to keep people from joining with other members of their group to protest.

Internalizing oppression can have survival value for individuals, but is destructive to individuals, the oppressed group, and the cause of justice in the long run.
 

What is an Agent of Oppression? 

Individuals who belong to a social group that has access to institutional power and privilege who, may or may not, actively be oppressive or use privilege against a targeted person.
 

What is Bystanding?

Watching someone being discriminated against, bullied, attached, insulted or picked on, but standing by and doing nothing to try to stop it.
 

What is a Target?

Individuals who belong to a social group that does not have access to institutional power and privilege.
 

What is being an Ally?

Standing up for someone who is a target of oppression. To become better allies, we need to understand and act to change conditions of oppression to help create justice for all.
 

Who are People of Color?

Any body deemed not white, for example, African-Americans/Africans/Blacks, Asian/Asiam-Americans, Indigenous people, Latino/as, Middle-Eastern people, Native Americans, and Pacific Islanders.
 

Who are White People? 

Members of the Dominant Culture. Anybody deemed not of color.
 

What is the Dominant Culture? 

The ideas, values and perceptions of the dominant group within a society, vested with the power to impose its goals on the general populace.
 

What is Culture?

A society’s shared and socially transmitted ideas, values and perceptions – which are used to make sense of experience and generate behavior and ultimately reflected in behavior. Cultures are learned not biologically inherited.
 

What is the difference between Individual and Institutional Racism?

Racism is overt and covert. It takes two closely related forms; Individuals acting against individual people of color, and acts by total white society against people of color communities.

The first consists of overt acts by individuals, which cause death, injury and destruction of property. The second type is less overt: it originates in the operation of established and respected forces in our society – the exact same thing “Multiculturalism” was created to combat.

Referring to a person of color with a racial epithet is considered an act of individual racism, as is spray painting racial epithets on signs and property. 

Institutional racism results in higher numbers of people of color not graduating High School thereby maintaining the achievement gap. An article in The Oregon newspaper reported on the disparity in forms of discipline between black and white students. “If an African American child looks a teacher in the eye, it was said that it would likely be considered insubordination as opposed to if a white student did the same, where it would simply be considered, assertiveness, resulting in widely differing responses. 

African Americans make up 80% of the prison population, when they are only 12% of the total population, due to institutionalized racism within the justice and educational system. Black, Latino and Native American youth (people of color in general) are subjected to far greater surveillance than whites, resulting in higher rates of incarceration.

In American it said that the path to wealth, security and success is through home ownership and education. Throughout history, here in Portland, Oregon and throughout America, people of color, have been denied, the right to buy property, own land; access to free and equal education, and even the ability to advocate for oneself.

What is White Privilege?

Rights granted to members of the White race by way of institutional racism.

Privilege grants the cultural authority (the dominant culture) to make judgments about others and to have those judgments taken as truth. 

White people have received tremendous benefit from the legacy of slavery, segregations and the continuing racism.

In the United States a person is considered a member of the lowest status group from which they have any heritage. This means that if you come from several ethnic groups, the one that lowers your status is the one you’re most likely to be tagged with, as in “She’s part Jewish,” or “He’s part Vietnames,” but rarely, “She’s part white.” In fact, having any black ancestry is still enough to be classified as entirely black in society’s eyes (in accordance with the “one drop rule” that has been a striking feature of race relations in the United States for several centuries). People are tagged with other labels that point to the lowest-status group they belong to, as in woman doctor” or “black President,” but never “white lawyer” or “male senator.”

Any category that lowers our status relative to others’ can be used to mark us; to be privileged is to go through life with the relative ease of being unmarked.

Privilege is something bestowed.

To be born, white, male and wealthy, affords one the greatest privileges.

By virtue of the institutional system Whites as a social category oppress people of color as a social category. This is a social fact. It doesn’t however, tell us how a particular white person thinks or feels about particular people of color or behaves toward them.
 

What is a Stereotype?

A generalization about what people are like; an exaggerated image of their characteristics, without regard to individual attributes, determined by the Dominant Culture and perpetuated through Institutionalized channels.
 

What is an Ethnic Group?

Any category of people within a larger society who possess distinctive social or cultural traits, shared history and sense of commonness, regardless of group size, power, perception of certain common biographical traits.
 

What is a Perjorative Word?

A disrespectful word relating to religion, sexual orientation, gender, age and ethnicity (or a combination of these.) Perjorative words have been, and continue to be, used against people of all ethnicities and colors and ethnicities for the purpose of  belittling or disparaging them – putting them in their place.
 

What is Discrimination?

Behavior that denies equal treatment to people because of their membership in some group – parallels the beliefs, feelings, fantasies and motivations of prejudice. Stereotypes, or generalizing beliefs about others.
 

What is Diversity?

A reference to the varied national, ethnic and racial backgrounds of the United States population, but also to categories of class, gender and sexual orientation.

Diversity has come to mean a number of things in our “multicultural” society and has taken on new significance with the rise of the politics and economics of diversity, resulting in its meanings and uses depending on the social, economic or political view of the user.
 

Hate Crime

Hate crimes are defined under specific penal code sections as an act or an attempted act by any person against the person or property of another individual or group which in any way constitutes an expression of hostility toward the victim because of his or her race, religion, sexual orientation, national origin, disability, gender, or ethnicity. This includes but is not limited to threatening phone calls, hate mail, physical assaults, vandalism, cross burnings, destruction of religious symbols, and fire bombings.

Elements of crime statutes and protected classifications vary state to state.
 

What is a Hate Incident?

An incident which constitutes an expression of hostility against the person or property of another because of the victim’s race, religion, disability, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. Hate-motivated incidents include those actions that are motivated by bias, but do not meet the necessary elements required to prove a crime. They may include such behavior as non-threatening name calling, using racial slurs or disseminating racist leaflets.
 

What is the meaning of the word Black? 

The absence of color due to the complete absorption of light.
 

What is the meaning of the White?

The absence of color due to the reflection of light.
 

What is the etymological meaning of Black?

The absence of color.
 

What is the etymological meaning of White?

The absence of color.
 

What is a Human Being?

Homo Sapiens. A member of the one race, the human race.
 

Thank you for receiving my simple gift of a little (hopefully) healing truth.

If you are interested in learning more this PBS website is a fabulous place to start – “Race – The Power Of Illusion.”

Sing A Song Of Healing

Since the beginning of time humans have communicated through music and song. Song has been healer, uniter, redeemer, sage, connector and liberator. Remember how freeing it is to sing, out loud, even off-key, to a favorite, or just plain annoying melody that won’t let you go? Take a moment to feel how it feels. Do you feel open, expanded, light as air – liberated? I know I do.

In our modern technology addled world, research has caught up with the natives, the primitive people, and proven the power of music and song. Children (and we are all children at heart) learn effortlessly when lessons are camouflaged in music and lyrics. It is my belief that we must hang on to our inner child, for when we do we are more apt to let life lead us everywhere, and to sing out loud and proud, even off-key!

Musical pitches have different healing frequencies which affect areas in which there is dis-ease, or disharmony, returning them to harmony, wholeness. The true meaning of the word “heal” is to make whole. It is our right and need, as humans, to live in harmony, be whole, first with ourselves and then, with everyone else.

I offer my song “What Color Are You?” as a tool for us all in our walk toward wholeness and healing for the world. (I wrote this song – among other reasons – as an accompaniment to my children’s picture book “Max and Me.”)

Sing it loud! Sing it proud! Please do sing it, even off-key!

A Letter From A Mother

As my gift to humanity, and in response to a racially motivated verbal assault on my seventh grade son exactly one week before the “famous” Robert Gray Middle School Multicultural Fair, I created a presentation entitled “The Story of Multiculturalism” and “The Language of Multiculturalism.” I also wrote the following letter to all attendants at said Fair, the evening of Tuesday, March 3, 2009:

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Letter from a mother

Last week my son was verbally assaulted with a racial epithet considered to be the most disparaging. The response from the boys when called on it, was the standard, “We didn’t know.” I cannot accept that. I will not accept that. I ask that you not accept it that excuse either. It is a cop out. When you know a stone lobbed, if it connects with your target, will hurt, could wound, then you know what it is that you do.

Americans stand proud today reveling in the fact they, the American people, voted a man of color, a black man, into the White House and in this revelry many of us delude ourselves that we now live in, as the media writes, a “post racial” society.

This is a lie. When a child can stand and tell another child that his “race” is superior to another’s, it is evident that we do not, (never have done, and never will, unless we are brave, particularly those of the dominant, white, culture,) live in a “post racial” society.

We all must have the courage to see the lie for what it is – a cop out.

Wonderful though it is, if we truly lived in a “post racial” time, there would be no need for this “Multicultural Fair.” There would no longer be a need for “Multiculturalism” or “Multicultural Education” to counter, or clean up, the mess left behind from the social construct of race and it’s partner in crime, Institutional Racism; a mess which we have all, mostly unbeknownst, been smeared.

The myth of “race” and its resultant hierarchy is perpetuated in stereotypes which many times were first introduced into our beings, via songs and nursery rhymes; in our prayers and then in our lessons in school; in the things we are shown and more importantly, the things left out. It’s fed to us, bit by bit, line by line, in the stories and history we are told; the news we read and listen to; the pictures we see. And then there’s the music?

Oftentimes, we dance to the lies, we sing along to the melodies, deluding ourselves that “it’s just music, words; it’s such a great beat.

All the while we are being reminded that, in people, different is dangerous. Flowers are different from each other coming in different colors, shapes, sizes, but they are ultimately still flowers. Why is the same thinking not applied to humans? Why, when having different colored skin, are humans rendered less human, less eligible, less competent, less capable, or dependent on the shade, superior, deserving, prime. The pernicious social construct of “race.”

In the Government mandated quest to “accept and tolerate” difference, we negate the fact and existence of the truth of why we even need to mandate such a thing. After all, if left to our natural defenses (and having not been taught otherwise,) difference inspires curiosity within us. We are innately drawn to what’s different; it excites us, engages us. It opens us to possibility and growth.

I am asking you, as a mother, as a woman, as a fellow member of the one race – the human race, to understand that the social construct of “race” is all a fabrication to keep humanity apart and in fear. Fear of discovering the truth that some of us have been afforded privileges based on our color, or lack thereof, and many of us have been denied those same privileges for the same reasons.

The truth is that many people’s wealth, success and “superiority” has been built on the foundation of inhumanity, inequality, oppression and racism. This knowledge is scary to contemplate, for if one should realize the truth, “Then where does that leave me? Come to think of it, who am I then? No, no, better to leave that dog sleeping.”

However, until we, each and every one of us, confront our prejudices, our privileges, our fears and our truths, none of us can ever be free from the suffocating matrix of institutional oppression. None of us can ever be truly free.

We must expose oppression and the systems that support it. It is not enough for us to “eat Mexican food,” “watch Indian dancers” or learn “African drumming.” We must have the courage to face the truth of the American system and identify where we fit within it; understand and own our privilege and have the courage to use that privilege, spend that privilege, share that privilege, to work towards dismantling an unjust system and creating a more equitable and just society.

Nobody is saying that you created the system; I am not blaming you, but as long as you refuse to see the truth of the situation, you help to maintain the status quo. I am asking you to simply consider finding the courage to face yourself in the mirror of truth and own your privilege; own and accept the fact that you stand, through no fault of your own, on top, or at least nearer the top, by virtue of the fact that your melanin is not evident on the exterior; on your skin.

I am asking you to claim the knowledge that, contrary to popular belief it is not that the darker among us cannot progress or succeed, but that they have been hindered, through the vestige of institutional racism, and while your ancestors were harvesting freely from the tree of “future wealth and resources,” the ancestors of people of color were denied, denied, and denied again.

Can you really continue to shine, with pride, the medal you won for “winning the race” when your opponent’s ankles were tied? Do you really want to?

In this era of multiculturalism, we sometimes forget that people, no matter their color, or culture, are inherently the same – human, with the same needs, entitled to the same equal rights.

Please work with me, by making a commitment with yourself, and your children, to understand the whole truth of prejudice, privilege and power in this United States of America, and if you don’t like what you learn, have the courage to speak up, stand up, for humanity.

Sincerely,

Sharon Martini

Storytime, Krakow Koffeehouse & Cafe, Portland, Oregon, January 30, 2009, Part I

I realize this post is very long and I know how intimidating streams of words can be, so I have broken this posting down into five parts for ease of perusal, if you are so inclined.

Sincerely,

Sharon
__________ 

Friday, January 30, 2009 I set out to conduct a children’s story time at Krakow Koffeehouse & Café, in north Portland. I had been invited to do this by Krakow Koffeehouse & Café owner, Mark Kirchmeier. I was planning to read my children’s picture books Max and Me, Bugs! Bugs! Bugs! I Love Bugs! And Uh! Oh! Where Did Baby Go? This story telling was to be my first of 2009, and more significantly, my first reading during the brand new “historic” Presidency of Barack Obama, a president of color, whose message of hope and change knits nicely with the message of my mission – that we are all, no matter our color, culture, or nationality, inherently the same – we are all human beings in this world together entitled to respect, dignity, hope, truth and love.

A no-school-Friday, I brought my sons along with me to the Krakow Koffeehouse & Café story telling. Story time was 10:00 AM and we arrived energized and excited to entertain the little ones. I had planned not only stories, but songs – I was going to sing my original composition, “What Color Are You? You’re The Color Of Love.” – and art activities.

We entered Krakow Koffeehouse & Café, one son carrying a display stand, another carrying my guitar and me with my book bag. I approached the counter. There was a tall, bespectacled, white, male, behind the counter on one side serving a customer, across the other side a woman with long light brown hair wearing a white sweatshirt, appeared to cleaning. Neither employee acknowledged my presence, but giving the benefit of doubt, I waited a moment for the man to finish with the customer. Time ticked on. When there was still no acknowledgement of my presence, I politely interrupted the tall, bespectacled, white, male, “Excuse me, is Mark here?”  I enquired (Mark being, Mark Kirchemeier, the owner of Krakow Koffeehouse & Café, by whom I had been invited me to do story time.)

The tall, bespectacled, white, male, responded curtly, “Mark is not here, but we’re ready for you.” Taken aback that although I had not been acknowledged upon entering Krakow Koffeehouse & Cafe, this employee was well aware of who I was, and why I was there. This realization unnerved me somewhat, but I shook it off and proceeded to enquire as to where to set up for story time, turning my body to point to the area in question behind me.

When I turned back toward the counter the male employee was saying “Outstanding.” I detected a sneer and condescension in his tone but then, as the sweatshirt clad, white, female, employee was now standing beside him, I questioned whether or not he was indeed speaking to me. To clarify things for myself, I asked him if he had been speaking to me. He responded loudly, “I was speaking to her.” pointing to the female employee in the white sweatshirt. At this I said, “I was talking to you. I asked you where I should set up.” He then said, “When someone turns their back on you, it means they are finished with you.”

Thinking that he thought I had turned by back on him and attempting to clear up the confusion, I began to explain that I had not turned my back on him, but had merely turned to indicate to him where I might set up. He then shouted, “When someone turns their back on you, it means they are finished with you. I turned my back on you. I was done with you.” Still, not wanting to fully comprehend what was going on, I continued to argue my innocence. Suddenly, a white, woman with multiple piercings on her visage, charged over and began screaming at me that she had heard what I said, she was a customer and they, all the other customers, heard what I said. At this point the tall, bespectacled, white, male, fully unleashed his hostility and screamed “See, everyone in here heard what you said.” With a sweeping gesture, encompassing everyone on the premises, he then proclaimed that “See we all know what you say more than you people.”

With his “you people” comment, there was no longer any dodging comprehension for me. From the time I entered the premises of Krakow Koffeehouse & Café and was rendered invisible, my intuition had been willing me to see the truth, but I had bestowed the benefit of the doubt upon my fellow human beings inhabiting the premises at that time.

Slapped to reality I remembered that my sons were with me, watching this all and I worried for them. I tried to locate them, but my senses assaulted, I was rendered temporarily blind and I couldn’t see them. It was as if I were in the center of concentric circles – or a Roman amphitheatre, panicking, with lions slowly, arrogantly, circling – rapidly spinning, out of control, the outside circle rotating, morbidly slowly, in the opposite direction, everything warping in and out of focus; the only thing clear, sharp, and in focus, were the words and the hatred propelling them, which pierced my very being.

As I looked around Krakow Koffeehouse & Café, I caught the eyes of each of the four or five patrons (all of whom were white) who were inside in addition to the male and female employee, and the irate multi-pierced white, female, customer. I looked at every one of them beeseechingly, yet no one stood up nor spoke up. They burrowed their buttocks deeper into their seats; buried their faces in their coffee, cell phone and newspaper. One man looked at me with that “Can you believe this?” look then returned to his phone call. Another smiled sweetly at me on his way out the door. 

When finally I regained my equilibrium and located my sons, I knew I could not read my books in that environment. (My stories are full of truth, laced with whimsy and joy; they’re about equality, love and humanity.) I asked the boys to put my things back in the car, telling them “I cannot conduct a story telling here.”

The tall, bespectacled, white, male employee and the multi-pierced woman, both fired “Good. Get out we don’t want you here.” The woman then ripped a flyer with my photograph on it promoting the event, from a sandwich board, crumpling it in her hands saying, “I’ve seen your picture and you’re not very good.” I shook my head, wondering what my photograph could possibly say about my story telling abilities and began to follow my sons out the door. The tall, bespectacled, white, male, bellowed after us. “Thank God.” (My youngest son clued me in later that what the multi-pierced angry, white, female had meant was that she didn’t think my pictures were very good.)

We returned the guitar and other items to my car. I was about to leave when I decided that I needed to at least let Mark Kirchmeier, the owner, know why I would not be fulfilling my obligation and doing story time. I returned to the store to request a phone number at which I could contact him directly. I was told by the tall, bespectacled, white, male employee to get out. I tried explaining that, as a professional, I needed to let Mark know why I was leaving. The male employee continued to tell me to get out, eventually shrieking, “You need to show me respect.” (In my world respect is earned and you certainly don’t earn mine by ill-treating me.) Then, determined, it would seem, to obliterate any remnants of doubt in my mind as to whom, and what exactly, I was dealing with, the tall, bespectacled, white, male, employee vociferated “I don’t know where you’re from, but you’re in my country now.”

Evidently emboldened, the multi-pierced, white, female customer lunged at me, arms flailing, shouting in my face that every one of the customers (waving her arms for emphasis, including them in her sweep) felt threatened by me and that she was calling the police. 

I will confess, that at this time, like a bull at a red flag, all I could see was her silver nose ring, taunting me, tempting me, daring me… It took all my will to not shove my little finger between it and her snout, and pull, really, really, hard. You will be happy to know I did restrain myself. For this I thank my angels, my intuition, or maybe it was the “friendly” immigration officer in Charlotte, North Carolina, this past July, who after informing my two sons that they had more rights than I did; that they could vote (my sons were, at that time, 12 and 10 years old,) proceeded to tell me that should I “so much as hit someone, I would be sent back home (to England.)” (Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem returning to my birthplace, I would however, prefer to do it under my own volition.)

At the time, I remember wondering, fretting actually, as to why such a “genial” welcome back to the Country for sweet little me. Friday, January 30, 2009, at approximately 9:50 AM, standing face to nose-ring attached to an out of control, bigoted, white, female, in Krakow Koffeehouse and café, my pinky twitching, it became awesomely, audibly, clear – complete with southern drawl. But that’s another story for a later blog.

The irate multi-pierced, white, female, customer picked up the phone, waved it at me and threatened, “I’m calling the police.” When that, to her surprise, didn’t scare me, she challenged, “I’m dialing the number…” I told her to go ahead. I am not afraid of the police. (I must say I did get the distinct impression that I was supposed to be afraid.) I had done nothing wrong, unless you count attempting to fulfill the obligations of a story telling invitation, entering the premises, head held high while abundantly melanistic, and expecting to be treated, like anyone else, as a human being – with respect and dignity. 

 Continued/Storytime, Krakow Koffeehouse & Cafe, Portland, Oregon, January 30, 2009, Part II