A Letter From A Mother

As my gift to humanity, and in response to a racially motivated verbal assault on my seventh grade son exactly one week before the “famous” Robert Gray Middle School Multicultural Fair, I created a presentation entitled “The Story of Multiculturalism” and “The Language of Multiculturalism.” I also wrote the following letter to all attendants at said Fair, the evening of Tuesday, March 3, 2009:

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Letter from a mother

Last week my son was verbally assaulted with a racial epithet considered to be the most disparaging. The response from the boys when called on it, was the standard, “We didn’t know.” I cannot accept that. I will not accept that. I ask that you not accept it that excuse either. It is a cop out. When you know a stone lobbed, if it connects with your target, will hurt, could wound, then you know what it is that you do.

Americans stand proud today reveling in the fact they, the American people, voted a man of color, a black man, into the White House and in this revelry many of us delude ourselves that we now live in, as the media writes, a “post racial” society.

This is a lie. When a child can stand and tell another child that his “race” is superior to another’s, it is evident that we do not, (never have done, and never will, unless we are brave, particularly those of the dominant, white, culture,) live in a “post racial” society.

We all must have the courage to see the lie for what it is – a cop out.

Wonderful though it is, if we truly lived in a “post racial” time, there would be no need for this “Multicultural Fair.” There would no longer be a need for “Multiculturalism” or “Multicultural Education” to counter, or clean up, the mess left behind from the social construct of race and it’s partner in crime, Institutional Racism; a mess which we have all, mostly unbeknownst, been smeared.

The myth of “race” and its resultant hierarchy is perpetuated in stereotypes which many times were first introduced into our beings, via songs and nursery rhymes; in our prayers and then in our lessons in school; in the things we are shown and more importantly, the things left out. It’s fed to us, bit by bit, line by line, in the stories and history we are told; the news we read and listen to; the pictures we see. And then there’s the music?

Oftentimes, we dance to the lies, we sing along to the melodies, deluding ourselves that “it’s just music, words; it’s such a great beat.

All the while we are being reminded that, in people, different is dangerous. Flowers are different from each other coming in different colors, shapes, sizes, but they are ultimately still flowers. Why is the same thinking not applied to humans? Why, when having different colored skin, are humans rendered less human, less eligible, less competent, less capable, or dependent on the shade, superior, deserving, prime. The pernicious social construct of “race.”

In the Government mandated quest to “accept and tolerate” difference, we negate the fact and existence of the truth of why we even need to mandate such a thing. After all, if left to our natural defenses (and having not been taught otherwise,) difference inspires curiosity within us. We are innately drawn to what’s different; it excites us, engages us. It opens us to possibility and growth.

I am asking you, as a mother, as a woman, as a fellow member of the one race – the human race, to understand that the social construct of “race” is all a fabrication to keep humanity apart and in fear. Fear of discovering the truth that some of us have been afforded privileges based on our color, or lack thereof, and many of us have been denied those same privileges for the same reasons.

The truth is that many people’s wealth, success and “superiority” has been built on the foundation of inhumanity, inequality, oppression and racism. This knowledge is scary to contemplate, for if one should realize the truth, “Then where does that leave me? Come to think of it, who am I then? No, no, better to leave that dog sleeping.”

However, until we, each and every one of us, confront our prejudices, our privileges, our fears and our truths, none of us can ever be free from the suffocating matrix of institutional oppression. None of us can ever be truly free.

We must expose oppression and the systems that support it. It is not enough for us to “eat Mexican food,” “watch Indian dancers” or learn “African drumming.” We must have the courage to face the truth of the American system and identify where we fit within it; understand and own our privilege and have the courage to use that privilege, spend that privilege, share that privilege, to work towards dismantling an unjust system and creating a more equitable and just society.

Nobody is saying that you created the system; I am not blaming you, but as long as you refuse to see the truth of the situation, you help to maintain the status quo. I am asking you to simply consider finding the courage to face yourself in the mirror of truth and own your privilege; own and accept the fact that you stand, through no fault of your own, on top, or at least nearer the top, by virtue of the fact that your melanin is not evident on the exterior; on your skin.

I am asking you to claim the knowledge that, contrary to popular belief it is not that the darker among us cannot progress or succeed, but that they have been hindered, through the vestige of institutional racism, and while your ancestors were harvesting freely from the tree of “future wealth and resources,” the ancestors of people of color were denied, denied, and denied again.

Can you really continue to shine, with pride, the medal you won for “winning the race” when your opponent’s ankles were tied? Do you really want to?

In this era of multiculturalism, we sometimes forget that people, no matter their color, or culture, are inherently the same – human, with the same needs, entitled to the same equal rights.

Please work with me, by making a commitment with yourself, and your children, to understand the whole truth of prejudice, privilege and power in this United States of America, and if you don’t like what you learn, have the courage to speak up, stand up, for humanity.

Sincerely,

Sharon Martini

Tags: abuse, Children, Courage, Freedom, Liberty, Lies, Melanin, mothers, Peace, Race, Racism, Skin, Truth